Since I've been here I've basically had to defend my existence as a Canadian. Everytime I open my mouth-in a shop, at school-someone goes, "Where in America are you from?" And I have to say, "I'm Canadian." On my first night here, jet-lagged, shopping in Tesco (the largest supermarket in Britain, no less), a Nigerian woman who was serving me asked me where I was from. I said Canada. She said, "Same thing, isn't it? No difference." I was a little shocked that she would say it to my face. Andrea turned to her and said, "Where are YOU from?" She said, "Nigeria." Andrea said, "Well, that's the same thing as Kenya, isn't it?" It was a cute comeback but it did nothing to prove to the woman that yes, we did come from a separate country called Canada. With its own money and culture and government and everything.
My roommates have realized that "sounding like an American" has become a sore point and now use every excuse to make a Canadian joke (more on that later). Tommorrow's Canadian Thanksgiving, and I'm cooking a turkey to initiate those who haven't experienced this particular carb and poultry fest. Jamie, one of my American roommates, thought this was hilariously funny. He couldn't believe that we would rip off THEIR holiday, complete with turkeys and pilgrims. After a few drinks the other night he launched into a hilarious rant about how we couldn't really celebrate Thanksgiving...he didn't think the French Canadians had shared some important meal with the "non-French Canadians." His words. Or wear the funny pilgrim hats. Still, he wasn't going to turn down turkey dinner. To be honest, I'm not sure exactly WHY Canada's Thanksgiving is so much earlier than the States', or why we don't celebrate at the same time they do, but I think it has something to do with us being North and our harvest being earlier. That's the best I can do. I'm gonna get down to some serious research on this so I can provide some intelligent insights into Canadian holidays tommorrow as we gorge on turkey. Mind you, I will only be able to do serious research if I can find pumpkin. The people in the grocery store looked at me like I was crazy when I said I was making a pumpkin pie. But it's delicious, honest.
You would not believe how many people (British and otherwise non-Canadian) say that I sound like an American because I don't sound the way the Canadians do on Southpark. On Southpark (for the uninitiated this is a hilarious and consistently offensive cartoon show), all Canadians have floaty heads that are detached from their bodies, talk in pretend English accents, and enjoy fart jokes. My head is pretty much stuck on good to my neck, and the only Canadians I know that enjoy fart jokes apart from five year olds are my Dad and some of my uncles (you know who you are). So maybe I'll just start speaking in a really poncy British accent so I don't have to explain how we're different.
After the Thanksgiving fiasco, Alex, my British roommate, came home with an important "news article" that he felt we should put on our fridge in the interest of keeping up with current events. I've included it here for your amusement.
CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN...WAIT...CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?
Oh right, and Switzerland has nuclear weapons.
Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com)-Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.
"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war?"
"Does Canada know?" he added.
"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We saw this frigate steaming towards us, and we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'"
When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver announced that the tanker was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship was confused, said Omari, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadian sailors were carrying.
"They were armed. With guns," said Omari. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is the world coming to?"
"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like, 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn warship."
According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said, because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions, which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and medicine.
The U.N. said the incident was already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been watching too many American television shows.
My roommates have realized that "sounding like an American" has become a sore point and now use every excuse to make a Canadian joke (more on that later). Tommorrow's Canadian Thanksgiving, and I'm cooking a turkey to initiate those who haven't experienced this particular carb and poultry fest. Jamie, one of my American roommates, thought this was hilariously funny. He couldn't believe that we would rip off THEIR holiday, complete with turkeys and pilgrims. After a few drinks the other night he launched into a hilarious rant about how we couldn't really celebrate Thanksgiving...he didn't think the French Canadians had shared some important meal with the "non-French Canadians." His words. Or wear the funny pilgrim hats. Still, he wasn't going to turn down turkey dinner. To be honest, I'm not sure exactly WHY Canada's Thanksgiving is so much earlier than the States', or why we don't celebrate at the same time they do, but I think it has something to do with us being North and our harvest being earlier. That's the best I can do. I'm gonna get down to some serious research on this so I can provide some intelligent insights into Canadian holidays tommorrow as we gorge on turkey. Mind you, I will only be able to do serious research if I can find pumpkin. The people in the grocery store looked at me like I was crazy when I said I was making a pumpkin pie. But it's delicious, honest.
You would not believe how many people (British and otherwise non-Canadian) say that I sound like an American because I don't sound the way the Canadians do on Southpark. On Southpark (for the uninitiated this is a hilarious and consistently offensive cartoon show), all Canadians have floaty heads that are detached from their bodies, talk in pretend English accents, and enjoy fart jokes. My head is pretty much stuck on good to my neck, and the only Canadians I know that enjoy fart jokes apart from five year olds are my Dad and some of my uncles (you know who you are). So maybe I'll just start speaking in a really poncy British accent so I don't have to explain how we're different.
After the Thanksgiving fiasco, Alex, my British roommate, came home with an important "news article" that he felt we should put on our fridge in the interest of keeping up with current events. I've included it here for your amusement.
CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN...WAIT...CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?
Oh right, and Switzerland has nuclear weapons.
Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com)-Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.
"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war?"
"Does Canada know?" he added.
"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We saw this frigate steaming towards us, and we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'"
When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver announced that the tanker was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship was confused, said Omari, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadian sailors were carrying.
"They were armed. With guns," said Omari. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is the world coming to?"
"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like, 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn warship."
According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said, because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions, which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and medicine.
The U.N. said the incident was already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been watching too many American television shows.