Talking about Redemption on Definitely Not the Opera

I am featured on this week's episode of CBC Radio's "Definitely Not the Opera."  The theme was redemption, and I had been contacted by a producer who thought it might be interesting to talk to - she had read this blog and noticed that I had viewed the Stanley Cup Riot cleanup in 2011 as a kind of redemption for our city.

You can find a summary of the episode, as well as a link to the podcast, here.

I felt privileged to be ask to speak on behalf of the hundreds of volunteers who came out to help last year, but I also feel humbled and a little bit sheepish at the inordinate amount of attention I have personally gotten for being just one of many people out on the streets - it's not like the clean-up was some operation that I directed or inspired. I just chose to be a part of it.  So I wanted to just state for the record that I acknowledge, appreciate and salute all of the people that were a part of our riot cleanup crew.  Special shout-outs to my friend Kate, who I spent the day with, and the many friends we met that day: Katelynn, Tim, and countless others, some of whose names we never knew.  Thank you, all of you.

You can view my photos of the cleanup and my account of the day here.

Many thanks to CBC producer Jenna Cameron and the rest of the DNTO team for the opportunity to be a part of the show.

A Weekend at Doe Bay

Every year my cousin Sarah and I go on what we call our "annual sojourn."  Last year we went to Osoyoos to visit the Nk'Mip Winery and Spirit Ridge Spa and Resort.  This weekend, we went to Doe Bay, on Orcas Island, to participate in a yoga retreat led by

Megan Costello

.  It was a restful weekend of yoga practice, meditation, soaks in the outdoor tubs overlooking Doe Bay, and naps.  I even turned off all of my various technological devices for the entire weekend!

We left Vancouver early Friday morning to make our way to the Anacortes Ferry.  At the border, the guard asked us where we were going shopping.  When we explained that we weren't going shopping, we were going to do yoga and meditate, he was incredulous.  

"And...you're

paying

to do this?"  We nodded.  "Man, I'm in the wrong business!"

Along the way we played my favourite car game, "Fat America," where each participant picks a fast food chain, and the winner is the one who spots the most outlets en route.  I lost horribly by choosing Burger King - there wasn't one the entire way to Anacortes - while Sal trounced me with the safe (but smart) choice of McDonalds.  We made it to the ferry terminal in enough time to line up and grab our first cup of tea of the day before the boat arrived.   We were amazed that the ferry cost a total of $48 round trip, for both us and the car (my mom was generous enough to give me her car while she is unable to drive due to her broken hip). 

Loading onto the boat.   We are so excited at the cheap fares on Washington State Ferries.

The MV Yakima.  Built in 1968, "restored" in 2001.  Still afloat.

The decor of the MV Yakima left a little to be desired - but sported some interesting entertainment sadly lacking on BC Ferries.  This was the first of many puzzles set up on board.

Another one!  All I could think was, "It would take just one asshole stealing a piece to ruin this for everyone."  All Sal could think was, "I bet this puzzle is covered in germs."

The Salish Sea.

It's a little windy, eh Sal?

Why yes, we DO like to make stupid faces in photos.  We figure it will make our nieces and nephew happy when they are grown up and we are old

, to remember their silly Aunties.

Again - not a sign you'd see on a BC Ferry.

That's where we're going!  Orcas Island!

That's three, if you're keeping count.

Eddie Crane, our trip mascot, enjoys the view as we approach Lopez Island.

Our first stop when we landed on Orcas was Deer Harbour.  Sal has very fond memories of sailing there with my her parents (my aunt and uncle) and her sister.   Not having been there for years, she was amazed at how small it was.  While I liked Deer Harbour, I was more a fan of West Sound, which was a charming seaside village of clapboard houses.  I decided immediately that we would buy a closed-up shop we passed by, and turn it into a local law office slash county newspaper slash general store.

In Deer Harbour, we visited the historic post office, which had been bought some years ago by the "Deer Harbour Community Club," which we noticed, as we made our way around the area, had bought up several historic properties, including a church and a community dance hall.

Beautiful post office boxes in the Deer Harbour Post Office.

Eddie enjoyed the post office. 

The Marina at Deer Harbour.  Sal was sad to see if no longer sported the "76" Ball she remember from when she was a kid.

 After we visited Deer Harbour, we stopped in East Sound.  Probably the most "urban" part of the island, we had lunch at a pub overlooking the water, and visited a great bookstore, Darvill's - I always like to check out books on local history when I travel.

The view from the Madrona Bar and Grill in East Sound.

Hour 2 of Technology-Free Dani.  I could get used to this.

 After lunch, we made our way to Doe Bay.  The resort is a number of cottages, huts and yurts scattered throughout a large, coastal property.  The hub of the resort is the general store, which also features a vegetarian cafe, and a guest lounge that reminded Sal and I of a grandparents' den - old dusty volumes of Readers' Digest, ancient boardgames, and slightly musty armchairs.

We had rented a little cottage at Doe Bay called "The Little House."  It was a tiny, rustic place, just big enough for a bedroom, a futon, a tiny kitchenette and a half bath - but it had heat, and a spectacular view:

Doe Bay also featured soaking tubs that looked out on the water.  We weren't allowed to take pictures because the tubs are "clothing optional" - which meant a lot of what our niece Leah would call "bare nudies."  A lot of them.

This wasn't Instagramed or P

hotos

hopped

at all - it really was this beautiful.  The

soaking tubs are just to th

e left of this pho

to.

 Sitting in the soaking tubs, you could listen to this waterfall rushing past you into the bay.

. 

 On Saturday afternoon, in the pouring rain, Sal and I decided to swim in this bay before rushing to the soaking tubs.  There was a seal and a heron who watched us rather dubiously as we ran screaming into the water.  It was icy cold, but refreshing - so refreshing that no sooner had we rushed back onto the beach than we decided to turn around and go back in.

 Surprisingly, Sally had a harder time turning off the technology than I did.

Our retreat started on the Friday night, with a yoga session that only some of the group of 14 women attended - as not everyone had arrived yet.  Afterwards, Sal and I had time to hit the soaking tubs before making dinner in our little cottage.  Then we went back to the studio for yoga nidra - a kind of guided meditation that we did while lying on our backs, cuddled up with blankets.  Megan played the crystal singing bowls which produced the most remarkable tones.  After half an hour of that, I was ready for bed and climbed right in as soon as we got back to the cottage, and slept deeply.  I had the weirdest dream though, that I was onstage in a production that featured both Benedict Cumberbatch (surprise surprise) and Dame Judi Dench.  There was an unfortunate mishaps with the costumes, however, and we were all scrambling backstage to find things to wear.  Dame Judi said to me in most disgusted tones that she couldn't find "a damn bra" to wear.

Our Little House, before we bedded down for the night.

On Saturday, time seemed to stand still - the day seemed to go on forever, but in a good way.  We woke early for energy practice.  Well - Sal woke early.  I woke early, then decided my bed and a sleep-in was calling me more than energy practice.  But I was up for our 8:30 session, which was followed by meditation and discussion.  At lunch Sal and I headed back to the soaking tubs, and then we had some free time to read (and nap) before returning for an afternoon  yoga session.  We made ourselves cups of tea and headed back into the rain to visit the soaking tubs again, before that night's yoga nidra.  I came prepared for the meditation this time - I was already in my jammies so that I could fall into bed right after.

This chair quickly became my favourite spot - I took my tea and my book out here to watch the view.

..

...because who wouldn't?!

I love being near the water.  I always have.  It makes me feel restful, and creative.  Some might say this is because I'm a Cancer, which is a water sign.  All I know was that two-and-a-bit days was not enough time for me to sit and watch the water, and the twinkling lights of other islands.  This morning, I took my tea out and sat in the drizzle to watch the view before our final morning yoga session.

I learned a lot about yoga practices this weekend that I didn't know.  Megan talked a lot about chakras - which has never really been something instructors at my various yoga drop-ins have really talked about in depth.  We did a number of meditations focused on various chakras, and I found myself last night urging Sally to Google various things about chakras online - I wanted to know why the chakras were colored the way they were, what tradition they came from, what they're supposed to "do."  We also did meditations to connect with the earth and the sky.

Megan also uses a number of harmonic practices, such as her singing bowls, and pitch forks (which sounded like chimes to me), to create healing sounds.  Last night I asked her to explain what some of them meant.  She explained that the pitch forks were connected to various planets, and some were connected to deities.  I'm not sure how much I believe in those kind of cosmic connections, but I certainly felt the effects of some of the sounds.  Last night I had gone into our yoga nidra session with a raging headache - and after listening to the bowls, that filled the studio with sound and vibration, my head felt better.  So - call me the optimistic skeptic. 

Being us, Sally and I of course giggled and joked through much of the weekend.  Thankfully, none of the other ladies in our group seemed to mind.  They laughed when Sal explained, during introductions, that we were there because we had drank too much on last year's annual sojourn.  Some even joined in when I started hula hooping joyously before our evening session.  We were the class clowns, that's for sure, but hopefully it wasn't

too

disrespectful.  

When we left this morning, I was sad that we didn't have a few more days to relax.  I needed to sleep more, read more books, and spend more time being quiet and disconnected from work.  I loved Orcas, and will definitely want to go back to explore more.

In the meantime, Sal and I are planning our next sojourn.  We've decided on a "man's weekend," where we learn to fly-fish, and drink beer, and wear plaid.  Namaste.

Bangles and Back Handed Compliments.

On my lunch hour today, I had to have some bloodwork run.  The nearest lab to me is in Chinatown.  I love Chinatown, but it's always a bit of a funny experience at this lab, where there are literally no waiting room magazines in English, or signs in English, or fellow patients to chat to who speak English.  Ah, Canada.  Ah, multiculturalism.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Anyway, I'm wearing some beautiful bangles today that I picked up at

Tait

, a little boutique in Gastown.  These bangles are a personal triumph.  You see, my wrists have been too fat to wear bangles for quite some time, but now that I'm losing weight - over 50 pounds down now - all sorts of fashion avenues are opening up for me: knee-high boots, skinny jeans - and BANGLES!

The technician, who was Chinese, admired my bangles while she took my blood.

"Those are beautiful," she gushed.

"Thank you," I said proudly, twisting my wrist this way and that so they jingled.

"Chinese people like those," she said.  "It means you should have gold and diamonds.  I can't wear them - I look too bony."

"Oh really?" I murmured, not because I necessarily cared, more to be polite.  I was actively trying to ignore the giant needle in my arm at that point.

"Yeah.  I'm thin, I can't wear them.  Old Chinese people - they like people like you, people more plump.  It shows you're prosperous because you eat too much.  It's good that you got a bit of extra flesh."

And, smack!  Cue the back-handed compliment.  Serves me right for being so smug about my bracelets.

Quick Fringe Round-Up

Well, the Danielles have been seeing as many shows as we can at Fringe this year, but in between seeing shows and doing our own show, CAPS LOCK: The Musical, we haven't had tons of time to blog.  Fail.  But, here are a few words on some of the things we've seen so far:

Chlamydia dell'Arte: A Sex-Ed Burlesque (Performance Works):  a combination of standup confessionals, video interviews, dance interludes, and a fantastically terrifying vagina puppet.    A little bit disjointed, a lot outrageous and ribald.  Not for the faint of heart, but you'll laugh, even if it's just out of shock!

Underbelly (Waterfront):  A one-man, trip-hoppy, stream of consciousness meander through the life of beat poet William S. Burroughs.  "Cameos" by Jack Kerouac and Allan Ginsberg.  An impressive, thought-provoking performance by Jayson McDonald. 

Burnt at the Steak (Performance Works):  One-woman show about an "Italian Texas Rose" who moves to New York to pursue a career on Broadway, but ends up managing a downtown steakhouse.  Carolann Valentino plays herself, her psychic mother, and the entire staff and clientele of the steakhouse.  There are a few standard songs that she's re-written the lyrics to, but  the show doesn't need them - it's a success just based on her hilarious impersonations, and frankly she's a much better actor than singer.  This show has won Best of Fringe at just about every festival this summer, and it's fun.  Nothing too deep, just pure comedy and entertainment.

Romance (CBC Studios):  Queer Arts Society's take on David Mamet's courtroom drama is a hit.  It's offensive to just about every religion, race and sexual demographic you can think of, everyone's angry, and everyone says "Fuck you" alot.  In other words, it's awesome.  Brian Hinson as the Judge high on allergy medication steals the show.

Fishbowl (Performance Works): Mark Shyzer plays four seemingly unrelated characters - a geeky schoolgirl, a depressed teenage boy named Raven, an old man nearing death, and a woman who is having difficulty coming to terms with the upcoming marriage of her gay ex-husband.  Hilarious and poignant.  

Zanna, Don't (CBC Studios):  The latest from Awkward Stage Productions, this musical features an all-youth cast - the oldest has just turned 20.  Imagine a world where gay is the norm, and there is on-going debate about whether "heteros" should be allowed in the military and the school board bans a hetero couple from going to prom.  Zanna, Don't is a witty, fluffy piece of pop musical fun and the youth cast sing and dance their hearts out. 

Riverview High (Firehall):  The buzz about this show started in...oh, JANUARY and audiences are loving it.  A modern take on the Archie-Betty-Veronica love triangle, with sly references to other comic book characters.  Alex has to decide who to take to prom - will it be sexy Erica Snodge or girl-next-door Cathy?  A fantastically talented cast, great voices, and great choreography by Dawn Ewen.

Well, that's it from us for now.  4 more days of Fringe, lots more to see, plus two more performances of CAPS LOCK, which has been selling out every night, which we're thrilled about.  Friday night's show is sold out, but we have a final show on Saturday afternoon at 2:20 and there are still some tickets available.  Visit the Fringe website to book your tickets.

My First Fringe

My first experience with a fringe festival was growing up in Victoria.  As a poor student, I didn't have the opportunity to go to tons of theatre unless my parents paid (which they often did).  Also, Victoria was (is) a small-ish town and there wasn't always tons going on.  So I loved the Victoria Fringe Festival, where I could buy a relatively inexpensive pass and skip from show to show to show.  I spent hours flipping through the Fringe guide, plotting and planning the shows to see.    Some of the shows were fantastic.  Some were transformative.  Some were god-awful.  But that "pick-n-mix" aspect of Fringe was liberating, inspiring, exhilarating.

This year is my first Fringe as an artist.  I am performing in a new musical work called CAPS LOCK, which is a modern office romance, appearing on the main stage at Studio 16 (1555 West 7th) during the Vancouver International Fringe Festival.  We've been working hard all summer on this show - hence my relative silence here on this blog - and tonight was our opening.

What I never realized before is that the sheer volume of shows put on by Fringe, in a limited number of venues, means: a) very little time in your actual venue to rehearse; and b) a mere 15 minutes at the top and tail of each show to get in costume, get your set ready, and post-show, strike the set and get the hell outta dodge so the next show goes up in time.  YOWZA.  For a theatrical control-freak like me, today - our tech day in our venue and also our opening, within 2 hours - was the epitome of stressful.

The CAPS LOCK team had its first look at the venue in which we'd be performing at noon today, with our opening scheduled for 5 pm.  This means that at 12, our production team first laid eyes on the stage it now had to dress, the lighting board it now had to program, and the screen where we wanted to project various slides during the show (oooh, fancy!).  It meant we had to figure out where to squeeze the 7 piece orchestra.  Just how far apart we could place the characters' desks in the "office."  Where we had to stand for lighting cues.  Whether our choreography was going to fit on the stage we had.  Whether the technical effects were going to be timed properly with our performance.  Whether the sound cues would happen on time.  You know.  No big deal.

Well, actually, very big deal.  The screen wasn't high enough for the audience to see.  There wasn't enough room for the cello.  Was the double-bass going to be able to see our music director/composer?  If I stood here would I still be in the light?  By 2:30 p.m. we had just finished setting props.  There was no time to do an actual run in the space - we'd have to just rehearse particular cues, do as much of a stop-and-start of problem areas as we could, and then hope for the best for our opening at 5:00 p.m.   So that was it.  We were going to go on, in front of an audience, having not fully rehearsed the show in our venue.  I was literally sweating bullets from anxiety. 

At 3:15 p.m., when we were firmly shown the exit by a Fringe official, some of us went for a very subdued bite to eat before we had to be back at the theatre for 4:30 p.m.  I could barely eat, I felt so sick with nerves.  Not for my performance - that I could control - but for how everything else was going to somehow come together in time.  As I got into costume and make-up, I could hear a buzz of arriving audience members outside the dressing room.  I peeked out to see that there were audience members lined up out the door of the venue.  My hands started to shake.  What have I gotten myself into?

As it turned out - it turned out.  The audience laughed.  They applauded.  No one forgot to sing.  Nothing fell apart.  There were a few technical glitches, but in the end, it was a show, and an entertaining one, too.   And I have never felt so exhilarated after a performance in my life.  The stress and urgency of the earlier part of the day, the anxiety at the lack of rehearsal time in the venue - it all melted away and I felt just a tremendous sense of pride and relief that we had made it happen.  And no one had killed (or even maimed) anyone else in the process!

One of the additional perks of being a Fringe Artist is the Fringe rush pass - I have access to as many shows as I can possibly cram into my already incredibly-busy schedule (surprisingly - ha - Fringe doesn't pay enough for me to leave the practice of law). 

My fellow cast member (and Danielle), Danielle St. Pierre, and I, have always joked about her propensity to look for the silver lining in every show, always finding something good to say, whilst I tend to be overly critical.  "We should write a theatre review blog called 'Good Danielle, Bad Danielle'," I said one day, jokingly.

Well, we've decided to do just that - although, truth be told, sometimes I'm Good Danielle and she's Bad Danielle (you won't even know which - sneaky!).  But we've set ourselves an ambitious schedule between now and the end of Fringe on September 16, and plan to say something on this blog about each of them.

In case you're in Vancouver and interested in checking out CAPS LOCK, or seeing another one of the shows with Good Danielle, Bad Danielle, here's our schedule:

Saturday, September 8

12:50 - Chlamydia dell'Arte - Performance Works, Granville Island

2:30 pm - Underbelly - Waterfront Theatre, Granville Island

4:30 pm -  Burnt at the Steak - Peformance Works, Granville Island

9:30 - Romance, CBC Studios (Hamilton & Georgia)

Monday, September 10

6:30 p.m. - Fishbowl,  Performance Works, Granville Island

9:45 p.m. - CAPS LOCK: THE MUSICAL (starring ME!), Studio 16

Tuesday, September 11

1:00 p.m. - Zanna, Don't!,  CBC Studios (Hamilton & Georgia)

5:00 p.m. - CAPS LOCK: THE MUSICAL (starring ME!), Studio 16

 7:45 p.m. - Loon, Waterfront Theatre, Granville Island (after our show)

Wednesday, September 12

5:30 p.m. - Saints of British Rock, Firehall Arts Centre (Main and Cordova)

7:15 p.m. - Riverview High, Firehall Arts Centre (Main and Cordova)

10:00 p.m. - My Aim is True, Revue Stage, Granville Island

Thursday, September 13

6:00 - Intrusion, Carousel Theatre, Granville Island

8:30 p.m. - Welcome to My Wake (Site-Specific, Granville Island Parking Garage)

Friday, September 14

12:30 p.m. -  RIOT - Woodwards Atrium, Gastown

5:00 p.m. - The Histories, Carousel Theatre, Granville Island

8:40 p.m. - CAPS LOCK: THE MUSICAL (starring ME!), Studio 16

Saturday, September 15

2:20 p.m. - CAPS LOCK: THE MUSICAL

5:20 p.m. - The Best. Man - Carousel Theatre, Granville Island

Happy Fringing, everyone.  It's the best time of the year.

Behold, the Mighty Zoku!

So, for my birthday my brother and sister-in-law got me the weirdest, coolest toy ever:

the Zoku

.  It makes popsicles on your counter.  In like, 5 minutes.  

Wacky, right?  But so totally cool.  They also got me the official Zoku popsicle cookbook.  I opened it and immediately shouted "I sense a new blog project coming on!"

That's right people.  It's popsicle blog time.

I started on Saturday night.  The first I made were the easiest, I think: peach pops.  Some of my own home-canned peaches, a little yogurt, agave and lime juice.  I mixed the ingredients together, and then poured them into the Zoku mould, which had been chilling in the freezer for 24 hours.  I filled it up to the "fill line," placed a stick in carefully, and waited, staring dubiously at the little thing as it sat on my counter.  6 minutes later - voila.  I pulled out a perfect pop!  I gave Andrew the first one and he said, "Mmm.  Peachy."  "Good peachy or bad peachy?" "Good."  And they were.

The Zoku's trial run.  I must admit, I was dubious.  I should never have doubted you Zoku.

Peachy pop!

Next up was the "Summer Morning" pop - honeydew melon (we used chinese honeydew, which are slightly different in colour and texture), fresh basil, and lime juice - and then sanded with sugar.  They were very tart, very basil-y, and I couldn't really taste the honeydew.  But they were certainly refreshing.  

Summer Morning pop.  Very strong, tart flavour.

I could tell after just a few tries that Zoku and I were going to become good friends.  So much so, in fact, that I made a trip to Williams-Sonoma today to buy some Zoko accessories: the "fruit wand" (which allows you to artfully place pieces of fruit in the mould), and the fruit stencils (starts and hearts), and the special "pour cups."  I opted not to get the Zoku storage case (my freezer is too tiny), but did not with interest that you can get a BIGGER Zoku, with 3 moulds - think how many more popsicles I could make!

I already have little jars of leftover peach mix and Summer morning mix in the fridge, and I've just made a mix for Chai Pops that I am dying to try.   I'll make do with my lil' red Zoku for now - but I'm envisioning an entire gourmet popsicle empire...

On Donuts.

So you may recall my

earlier post

on local donut celebrity

Cartems Donuterie

.  My adorable friend Louisa has a food vlog where she talks about all things yummy - here's her latest, on Cartems:

Speaking of Cartems, yesterday amazing corporate food delivery service

Food.ee

delivered my a half-dozen of these babies at work, free!  Thanks for the free donuts, Food.ee!

Free Cartems!  Thanks, Food.ee!

Food.ee is a free service that takes care of everything from staff birthday cakes, to team lunches to casual beers.  Their staff (who hand delivered my donuts yesterday) were oh-so-friendly and full of suggestions of great places to eat...give them a try if you're ordering for your workplace or a large crowd.

The Shop Around the Corner: La Taqueria Pinche Taco Shop

It's probably old news that

La Taqueria Pinche Taco Shop

has the best tacos in Vancouver.   Its two locations, Cambie & Broadway, and Hastings Street (near Victory Square), are always packed, and I'm always happy to wait for their delicious little tacos.  "Pinche tacos" are Mexican street tacos - smaller than the giant tacos we normally see here in Canada, served on corn tortillas.  La Taqueria uses local, organic and sustainable products where possible, and I have yet to be disappointed by any experience there.

I have a few standbys when it comes to choosing a taco.  I love the De Picadillo - which is ground tofu in a "secret sauce," and the traditional Frijoles Charros con Queso - refried beans with cheese.  I also enjoy the Pollo con Mole, when I'm in a meat-y mood (which is not very often, but sometimes) - that's chicken in chocolate mole sauce.

My tacos: two Pollo con Mole, one De Picadillo, and one Frijoles Charro con Queso.

Unbelievably, Andrew had never been to La Taqueria, so we stopped by last night for a late dinner.  Ignacio, who co-owns the Cambie location, was working at Hastings last night and Andrew asked him to pick the four "best" tacos for him to try - he got a nice selection of various cow parts, which anyone who knows Andrew (this man constantly complains that there aren't enough "meat flavoured drinks" in the world) can tell you was a very good choice on Ignacio's part.

As for me, I got my "usual", as listed above, and Ignacio asked me if I wanted him to make them up "his way" - in terms of the various hot sauces and pickles that La Taqueria has on offer.  I said sure, and it was amazing how the different sauces Ignacio chose changed the flavours so much!  They were delicious - although Ignacio was worried that he had made them too spicy and kept asking me if they were OK and to let him know if they weren't OK and he'd make new ones for me.  He also very helpfully wrote down the name of a friend's hotel in Tulum when I mentioned that my friends and I are off on our now-annual Mexican adventure in August.  The staff is friendly, and so are the customers - whenever I've been at La Taqueria, I've always had a good conversation with someone, either waiting in line, or fighting for space at one of the counters.

Andrew is much happier with his tacos than he looks in this photo.

La Taqueria Pinche Taco Shop is open Monday to Saturday, 11:00 - 9:30, at both locations.  Stand in line, it's worth it.

Special Guest Blog: In Which My Cousin Gets a Surprise in her Cheese.

Here is a rare guest blog from my cousin Sal.  It really speaks for itself.

Official photo file name, as saved by Sally: "WTF."

To Whom it May Concern:

Who doesn't like cheese? My boyfriend and I can't keep enough cheese in the house. So imagine our delight Sunday night when I cracked open a big brick of Lucerne Old Light cheddar, distributed, according to the packaging, from Calgary, to my Duncan, B.C. Safeway.

It was on sale from $11.80, or so, to $8.99. Not a bad deal at all! If there's one thing we like more than cheese, it's cheese on sale.

In any event, I cut off a chunk to further chop up for today's lunches, handed my boyfriend a second chunk to shred for tonight's dinner (tacos, if you wondered) and put the remainder back in the fridge.

It wasn't even two slices in that my knife bucked, hitting a hard object IN THE MIDDLE OF MY CHEESE.

WHAT THE HECK?

I like my cheese with crackers. I enjoy it with a sandwich or a good salad and, heck, I'll eat it on its own with no complaints. What I just yesterday learned, though, is that I do not care for PLASTIC CHUNKS OF GOD KNOWS WHAT lodged in my cheese. (see attached photos).

Naturally, I did what any younger sister would do in the circumstances. I called my big sister.

"Put it in the newspaper!" she said. I'm a reporter. People generally call me when things like this happen, and I write a public safety story and guilt big wigs like you into making it right.

But I don't really want to bring negative attention to Lucerne or to Safeway. I've grown up with both and do feel a sense of loyalty in that regard.

However, I am quite concerned and frankly uneasy now about what is going on at the factory where this cheese was made.

Lucerne Canada's own website notes that "Lucerne Foods utilizes its large base of experienced technical management from a cross section of major consumer product companies to keep quality and food safety at the forefront of our business."

Now, the quality of the plastic chunk in my cheese is up for debate, but I assure you to consume it is in no way safe. Had I (excuse the double entendre) cut the cheese a different way I may not have noticed the plastic piece until it was un my mouth and no doubt, breaking my teeth and/or gums.

Worse, my sister and her three young children (who coincidently also love cheese. It must be genetic) will be visiting this week and could have easily been the ones to eat that product. I shudder to think what that plastic piece would have done to their little teeth, mouths, and God forbid if they had choked.

No doubt you never intended to serve me plastic shards with my dairy... But you have. And it worries me deeply. Who else did you serve? Where's the remainder of whatever part this plastic broke free from? Has your factory noticed a piece of their machine is missing? Are people going to dull their good knives like I did, trying to slice through their food only to hit plastic?

So many questions.

And so I'd really like some answers. And a refund for my cheese. Because I can't in good conscience eat it now. I have the receipt, the plastic bit (and as a special bonus I've kept the cheese it was embedded in for you as well), and I have the remainder of the brick and what we shredded. I'm happy to turn it all over because I've completely lost faith in it being safe to eat.

Please do advise on Canada Post's cheese encased plastic mailing protocol.

I await your reply.

Sarah

Strawberry Mango Oat Bars

Feeling a bit under the weather tonight and as such I'm choosing to have a quiet night in.  "Quiet nights in" always involve baking.  Tonight, I had some strawberries and mangos that were getting dangerously ripe, so, voila - Strawberry Mango Oat Bars!  I promised my friend Louise I would post this recipe if they turned out.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups flour

1 1/2 cups rolled oats

1/2 cup sugar

3/4 cup margarine (I used Earth Balance, suppose you could use butter if you were so inclined)

2 ripe mangos, mushed

3 cups ripe strawberries, casually chopped

2 packets Splenda (OK, go ahead and use real sugar if you must - that'll be about 1 tbsp)

1 tbsp cornstarch

Squirt of lemon juice

Instructions

1.  Throw the flour, rolled oats, sugar and margarine in a bowl and mix (with your fingers preferably) well until the ingredients are fine and crumbly.

2.  Reserve 1 cup of crumbly stuff and then press the rest into a greased 8 x 8 baking pan so it forms a hard crust.  Bake in the oven for 10 minutes at 350 F.

3.  Mix the mango, strawberries, cornstarch, Splenda and lemon juice.

Mixing the fruit.

4.  Pour on top of the baked crumbly crust and then sprinkle the reserved cup of crumbly stuff on top.

Ready to go in the oven!

5.  Bake for 45 minutes at 350 F.

My sous-chef wasn't willing to wait.

6.  Wait until cool to slice.  Makes 8 bars.

Et voila!  Think these might be good with a little coconut "ice cream."

NT Live: Frankenstein

Note: This blog post contains spoilers.  If you have not read Frankenstein, or intend to see this production and do not wish to know what happens, do not read further.

One of the things I miss most about living in London is the access to wonderful, world-class theatre.  Now, before all of my theatre compatriots in Vancouver get their knickers in a knot, don't get me wrong - I love what we are producing here - but we have to admit we don't have access to the star power or budgets available in a city like London.  Only in London could the National Theatre put on a Danny Boyle-directed version of

Frankenstein

and double-cast the show with leads like Jonny Lee Miller and Benedict Cumberbatch alternating the roles of Dr. Frankenstein and his monster each night.  I was pained to have missed this production - not least because I'm not sure how supportive it will look to my future husband, Benedict Cumberbatch if he finds out I

didn't

go - and so I was delighted when NT Live made both versions available for broadcast at local cinemas.

Audiences love to compare and contrast actors playing the same role.  Who's your favourite Sherlock Holmes? Who's your favourite Bond?  It's a fun game to play.  It's incredibly rare, however, to get to see two actors play the same parts, with the same cast, in the same production, and then play them

opposite each other.  

Caitlin and I saw

Frankenstein

 last week with Benedict Cumberbatch as the Creature and Jonny Lee Miller as Victor.  We had deliberately chosen to see this over the Miller version, as we thought it would be fascinating to see BC, who plays such controlled characters like Sherlock, and Peter in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, play, well, a monster.  

We loved it, although BC's creature went through a painful "birth," finding his legs, literally, in a scene that went on for far too many uncomfortable minutes.  His Creature was never childlike, more like an purely animal being at first, but quickly becoming sharp as a tack, learning the ways of man at monumental speed.  His exploration of himself and his surroundings was mostly internal, cerebral, and BC managed to convey the Creature's astonishing intelligence, confined within the most basic of physical trappings given to him by Frankenstein, his creator, extremely convincingly.  His gradual disenchantment with humanity and descent into cruelty seemed inevitable rather than tragic, like something he expected, while wishing he might have been wrong.  He seemed more of an alien visitor in a hostile world, who grows weary of his surroundings and yearns for home, than a human following the path from innocence to experience.

Benedict Cumberbatch as The Creature.

Jonny Lee Miller's Victor was an intense, mirthless man.  You got a sense that Dr. Frankenstein was a deeply unhappy man, unsatisfied with his existence, way before his "animation" of the Creature made his life a misery.  Miller could barely control his disdain for his own invention.  While you could see moments of grudging admiration for all the Creature learns and accomplishes in his brief existence, the disgust and disdain for his "slave" was palpable.   At no times did Miller's Frankenstein seem unhinged, or the stereotypical "mad scientist" who might shriek "It's alliiiiiiiiiive."

Jonny Lee Miller as Victor, with Naomie Harris as Elizabeth.

Tonight I went back and saw the production in reverse, with Darling Husband as Dr. Frankenstein and Miller as the Creature.  I hadn't intended to see both, but after the first viewing I found I couldn't resist.  I wanted to see the two men play the opposite roles, yes, but I also wanted to see how the other members of the cast's performances changed with the switcher-oo.  Would there be more chemistry between BC and Naomie Harris, for example, than JLM and NH?  Would certain scenes that were funny be un-funny, and vice-versa?  

Miller's Creature was much more of a child being born into the world, rather than some wary interloper.  His Creature stalked about the stage like a toddler learning to walk, and laughed, smiled and drooled with a childlike openness.   In the opening scenes, where the Creature meets Delacey, the kind old blind man that teaches him to speak, and read, Miller seemed full of hope and optimism.  He bowed to Delacey, and to Delacey's children, who reject him, with a courtly elegance and willingness to love and be loved that is touching and endearing.  But in Miller's Creature, as the love is close to the surface, so is the darkness, which makes the Creature's menace all too more chilling.

In the scene where Elizabeth meets and befriends the Creature, who has promised her safety, only to be informed that he "lied," before being raped and murdered by him, you get the sense in Miller's performance that the Creature knows perfectly well that what he is doing is evil.  And that he chooses, and has come to relish, the evil, that the hurt he has suffered in his brief life is so profound that only revenge can soothe the ache.  He cannot rationalize his pain.  In BC's Creature, this same violent scene seems a foregone conclusion - that the Creature is actually amoral and doing only what he knows.  After all, Frankenstein promised him a wife and then took her away; why should not the Creature do the same?  As the Creature himself says, he is expert at "the art of assimilation." These subtle differences in how each actor played this scene, and others, were absolutely fascinating to me.

Miller as the Creature, Cumberbatch as Victor.

I had desperately wanted Darling Husband to excel in the role of the Creature more than in the role of Dr. Frankenstein.  The role of a brilliant scientist just seemed too close to home, already well-worn ground in

Sherlock.

  But while he may have excelled as the Creature, he absolutely shone as Victor, the brilliant scientist.  And  Victor was nothing like our dear Mr. Holmes, despite what could be seen as obvious similarities in temperament.  In this Victor we had a man who is consumed by ego and by intellect, so devoted to his work that he cannot destroy it, even after it has destroyed him and those he loves.  He only lights up when discussing his work, or his hopes for science and medicine.  While he is disgusted at the sight of the Creature, he is also all too willing to admire his own handiwork and to gloat at the complexity of what he has wrought, to his own (and his loved ones') peril. 

My future husband (as Victor).

An interesting dimension that Darling Husband brought more to light in his Victor than Miller was Victor's incapacity to love (or perhaps, this was made more apparent thanks to Miller's all-emotion, all-feeling Creature, I don't know).  There is a scene where, in making a companion for the Creature, Victor quizzes the monster on what it feels to love.  The Creature responds eloquently and sincerely that it feels like he can do anything.   Victori neatly replies that he was just "testing" the Creature, but you can see, just in a flicker across BC's face, that he cannot empathize.  He has never felt this love that the Creature has already felt, in an instant, for his new companion.  In the final scenes, Victor confirms this - saying, "I don't know what it is to love."  And it's true.  Of all of the consequences of Victor's experiments, this is the one that is most soul-destroying to him: that the Creature he has brought into existence through electricity and alchemy has more capacity to love than his own, human creator.  

Miller was an exquisite Creature.  He was at turns hilarious (when his Creature learned to speak and read he also learned sarcasm and humour), heartbreaking in his willingness to love his master unconditionally, and always menacing, ready to turn in an instant on those who betrayed him with unbridled rage and violence.  While I loved the first production, I think this combination, with Miller as the Creature and Darling Husband as Victor, was the most rich and resonant, for me at least. 

I was disappointed in how consistent the rest of the cast's performances were - sadly I have nothing to report on how vastly different the supporting roles were played opposite these two very different actors (damn professionals).  

Boyle's whole experiment in alternate casting is just so interesting.  To have the Creator become the Created, and vice-versa - over and over again - it speaks to humanity's endless struggle to relate to its origins, whatever they may be, and to the world we are forced into, and the endless love-hate cycle of existence.  Just brilliant.

You can still check out NT Live's 

Frankenstein

at Cineplex.  Click

here

for more information.  One final note: While I applaud these initiatives for bringing new audiences to theatre, I'd also like to remind all you readers that we have wonderful artists making excellent theatre right here in Vancouver.  So if you buy a ticket for

Frankenstein,

 please do also buy a ticket to see something right here in your hometown.  We appreciate your support.

In Which I Once Again Find Myself At the Yoga.

Here's the thing about yoga: Shmeh. I get why it's good for me and stuff, but - it just doesn't really get my exercise mojo going, you know? I always start with good intentions, go to a few classes a week, and then months go by before I get back to the studio.


On Monday I went to Westcoast Hot Yoga in Yaletown because lululemon told me so. No, really. I'm training for the SeaWheeze half marathon and my training app told me I had to do hot yoga that night. So off I went to WCHY, mostly because I'd been there before (pre-renos). I booked myself in for a random class and found...

WILL!

OMG!

WILL!

This man, yoga teacher slash singer slash makeup impressario, in black eyeliner and peacock feathers, made me sweat like I had never sweated before, except in a sweat lodge, but then - well, nevermind. I sweated alot. And he played Leonard Cohen before our class. And didn't whisper. And made us sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" as our mantra as opposed to singing some words in Hindi I don't know. And he talked about Lady Gaga. And made us hug each other. And do yoga in a line, like rockettes. And only do one goddamn downward dog, which I totally hate anyway. And he said so many life-affirming things (like "own it before it owns you" - "it" being that feeling/fear/person/habit bringing you down) that I was literally yelling "Amen" along with him as he preached from his self-styled "yoga church." And then, when he belted out "Any Dream Will Do" from Joseph at the end of the class, Broadway Styles?! Well, this musical-theatre-nerd-turned-reluctant-yogi found her Yogi Master.

Is $24 pricey for a drop-in? Oh, probably. The studio's nice, your admission gets you a towel, a mat rental, and tea afterwards, but really? You go for the people. And as long as Will's there, I'll be going to WCHY. Even if he makes me do downward dog.