There's nothing else for two over-30 single girls to do on the 20th anniversary of
Thelma & Louise than commemorate the occasion with a road trip (hopefully not over a cliff). So my cousin Sal and I headed up to Osoyoos to
Spirit Ridge Vineyard Resort & Spa this weekend for a little adventure, and I am happy to report we did not rob anyone, shoot anyone, get robbed or shot, or get chased by the police, although we counted 21 cops on our way there and back.
We set out around 10 in the morning on Friday in high spirits, excited and just a little bit silly. By the time we got to Hope, we were giggling uncontrollably at pretty much everything, which explains this:
And this:
After we had "experienced Hope," (as we were instructed by signs at the town's entrance and exit), and I had learned all about the Rambo connection to Hope (
First Blood was shot there in 1982) - which led me to sing a song about "The Rambo Connection" (the lovers, the dreamers and me) we decided since the day was nice to take the historic Hope-Princeton highway instead of the Coquihalla.
We had already decided that something funny was up with this road trip - every time I said something should appear, it did. I said something about hail, and it hailed. Then, as we entered Manning Park, I said I hoped we'd see a bear. And lo and behold:
Sal is a journalist and yet I am the one who found myself hanging out an open car window 5 feet from a bear to take a photo, while she was safely in the driver's set on the other side of the car. She says she had her finger on the button for the power window and would have driven away with the bear's paw attached to my face if she had to, and I believe her. That's what cousins do. Anyway, after the bear magically appeared, I would pronounce periodically upon our journey that Brad Pitt was about to appear - but he sadly did not. My powers of magical manifestation could not tear him away from the Jolie, it seems.
The first town of any note on the Hope-Princeton (and I use the term "note" loosely) is Hedley, home to this fabulous establishment that sells "Unusual Gifts for Exceptional People." Being exceptional people ourselves, Sal and I thought we should stop in, particularly given that, as their sign below proudly proclaims, they were selling "Stone Wine Goblets, T-Shirts, and Red Hats." Everybody needs a Red Hat, don't they? Alas, Unusual Gifts for Exceptional People was closed, and we tore out of the gravel parking lot and continued on our merry way.
We arrived in Osoyoos at Spirit Ridge after about a 7 hour drive - that included our stop at Hope, our lunch stop in beautiful (ahem) Princeton where we ate the picnic lunch my cousin (and Sal's sister) Bob had lovingly packed for us (individual boxes of Cracker Jacks! Little pots of yogurt with spoons! Love that woman), while sitting on a bench by the Chevron (see? I told you it was scenic). It was sunny and warm, and we were delighted with our king suite, which had one big bedroom, a pull-out couch, two fireplaces, a full kitchen, a patio with barbecue, and a tub-for-two (more on that later). Sal was also particularly delighted with the "thin" mirror in the lobby (it's true, it was a thin mirror - you know what I'm talking about, ladies).
We picked up some groceries and wine in town and made it back to the suite in time to watch the hockey game. OK, Sal watched the hockey game, I stretched out on the bed for a sleep. Then we headed off to the outdoor pool in our bathrobes, where we frolicked like kids on the water slide and sweated it out in the steam room.
On Saturday morning I woke up with my cousin jumping on my bed around 8:30. We headed into town to see Osoyoos' Market on Main, which was really disappointing. Magnetic jewellery, some knitting, and not much else. However, we were not disappointed with the Osoyoos Home Hardware.
The other night at the Neal's Yard Dairy tasting at Salt, I met Mark and Andrea Busse of
Foodists, who instructed me that I must go to the Home Hardware Store. I had inquired as to why, but they both shook their heads knowingly and told me simply that I. must. go. And really, it was an amazing place. Wall-to-wall kitsch, over three floors. Sporting goods, kitchenware, you name it, they had it. Sal and I wandered all over the store, agog.
Above: Sally entering the decorative-garden-stake area.
Below: the windchime section.
We checked in mid-morning for our spa treatments at the Sonora Desert Spa. Sal and I both did the "Love Your Lavender" package, a 3 (in our case 4) hour treatment including a manicure, pedicure and Lavender Body Treatment. I had never had a body treatment and was slightly appalled when I was told I had to get completely starkers. However, Sal and I liked the technicians working with us and soon all four of us were giggling away as they did our pedicures. I was particularly pleased when my girl told me I "didn't seem like a lawyer" and that I should be in entertainment - this despite playing the straight man all day to my extremely funny cousin. Sal invited her technician to join "her staff" and I think the technician would have been glad to do so. They even brought us homemade brownies from the staff room while we were waiting for our body treatments! We loved those girls.
In case you were wondering, a "Body Treatment" basically means, "Get naked while someone puts lotion on you." Sal and I agreed to have our treatments in the same room, as long as the lights were low (I don't need no cousin seein' me naked). I had a new technician for this treatment, although Sal's girl was the same.
At some point during the treatment I heard Sal's girl ask her if she wanted her stomach exfoliated, as it was part of the "full body treatment." Sal said yes, so when my girl asked the same question, I said sure. I was a bit taken aback when that included exfoliating and lotioning my boobies, but I went with it, trying to be nonchalant. Must be part of the full body treatment, I thought. Sal and I dissolved into fits of giggles later when she told me that her girl had kept a towel over her breasts - there had been no inappropriate touching for her.
Anyway, I managed to recover from being molested at the spa to make it over to Nk'Mip Cellars for our two hour tasting session. Two other girls on their own road trip joined us for the tour, which was led by the fabulous Shannon. Poor Shannon had to put up with our impatience (just me and Sal, the other girls behaved) while she explained the origins of Nk'mip and the various stages of wine making, as we hopped from foot to foot. We didn't really care how it was made, we just wanted to taste it.
Me inside the barrel room, an hour into our tour. No wine yet.
The seated tasting, when we got there, was worth the wait. We had various shapes and sizes of Reidel crystal glasses in front of us, and Shannon talked us through eight wines, which were paired with food. We were given our own notebooks to write down our thoughts, and presented with our own Reidel Bordeaux glasses, wine charms, cloth wine bags, and bottle openers to keep. The more wine we drank, the more chatty we got with the other girls, one of whom was a Deputy Sheriff, the other a teacher, and the tasting ended up being a real highlight of the trip.
After just a bit too much wine, we stumbled back to our suite, where I made dinner, as discussed
here:
After dinner, it was time to try out our "Tub-For-Two" on the balcony. We had stocked up on lavender bubble bath, and we were ready for this new outdoor tubbing experience. It took approximately 40 minutes to fill up the thing:
Sally and her red wine.
Me and my white wine.
We giggled (notice a theme yet?) for quite some time, helped along by our 18th glass of wine each, no doubt, and splashed around in the tub. My cousin would helpfully invite people walking by the building to our "Bubble Tubby." It was so funny that somehow I managed, drunk and in a bubble bath, to transcribe one such exchange on my iPhone:
Sal (leaning out of tub and over balcony railing): I'm in a bubble tubby!
Onlooker looks up.
Sal: Yep! It's just meeeee and the bubbles. (Beat) And my cousin. (Beat) But we're wearing bathers. Because that's weird. We're not into that. We've already thought about that.
Dani snorts and swallows lavender bubbles.
Sal: Anyway, I have a boyfriend. And (gesturing at Dani) she's REEEEAAAAALLLY looking! Are you single?
Somehow between the bubble tubby and the wine drinking, we both ended up in bed by 10:30. I can't imagine why.
And Sunday marked the end of our little road trip. It was pouring rain as we left Osoyoos, but we managed to catch a rainbow as we left Oliver. We took the Coquihalla home, stopping in Merritt for coffee (both of us questioning, Why is Merritt?), and looking out for the old Shakespearean station names as we mirrored the route of the old Kettle Valley Railway. Home by 2, and back to reality, and to our respective kitty-cats, Currie and Murphy.
So here are a few facts about our trip:
- Passed 21 cops
- Passed 4 roadkill, including a snake (ewwww)
- Saw 1 bear, 1 deer
- Drank three bottles of wine (only!) and about eight additional glasses at the tasting
- Went down the waterslide at Spirit Ridge 15 times
- Q101.1 FM (Merritt's Music Mix) has the best province-wide coverage, as well as Praise FM), as well as the most eclectic (or spastic) song selection: country followed by R & B followed by Top 40 followed by Easy Listening
- Visited Tim Hortons twice (only!)
- Paid 123.9 for gas in Abbotsford, 134.9 for gas in Penticton
I can't wait to do another road trip with my cousin. Until next time, Sal-my-Gal!
